Journal of Nualia, found by the RATS the temple under the Thistletop stockades.
Erastus 18, 4698
Dad said he was working on my birthday cake so he let me end my studies early today. I went outside and there were some boys from the academy, they threw rocks at me and one hit me. I have a huge bruise, it bled some too. They called me a freak and laughed at me. I was crying so father says no one else is as gifted as I am and that my silver hair and violet eyes are a blessing from the goddess Desna. He said I’m an angel.
Ruthona 1, 4700
Headmaster Gandethus gave us an impossible amount of work today and I was trying to finish up when noticed Amylee and the other girls snickering and pointing at me, again. I did what teacher said and tried to ignore them, but they wouldn’t stop. I excused myself from my studies and hid in the bathroom for a little while, but the girls had piled furniture in front of the doorway. I was locked in there all afternoon and half the night, I screamed but no one helped me. When the candle went out it was it SO dark, I was scared was going to die. Mr. Jervas came by and let me out; he was making some pretty wood birds for the stairs. I’m never going back to Turandarok again, Ezakien can’t make me. He’s not my real dad anyways.
Pharast 10, 4700
I was walking home from the academy today, I took a shortcut past Cracktooth’s tavern and a bunch of boys from school were following me. The boys at school are always staring at me. They were saying disgusting things and staring, it was Banny Harker think. One of them called me a slut; I started running and dropped my work. Dad wanted to know why I was crying, but I just wanted to be alone.
Pharast 24, 4700
The traders always gawk at me in the market, its not my fault I’m different. I wasn’t wearing my hat today, while I was picking up some things for dinner some old woman snipped off my braid with scissors. She told me that “your silver hair will bring me luck” as she walked off. I didn’t know what to say, but now I have a bald patch. Amylee and her little friends are going to make fun of me, I just know it. Father told me not to go out so much, that I should spend more time praying.
Gozran 5, 4700
I was walking down Cliff street minding my own and about a dozen of the farmers in for the harvest started crowding around me. I just wanted to go. They started telling me to cure them of their rashes and boils, they smelled terribly. I tried to be nice, but when I said I couldn’t one of them pulled my hair and started yelling in my face to cure his warts. They wanted to know when they should plant their potatoes, like how should I know. One of them told me was the “blessed of Desna” and that my voice could drive away the voices he was hearing and he was haunted by evil spirits. I screamed at them and finally pulled away, but one of them pulled out some of my hair. They chased me all the way to the church. I locked myself in and they were pounding on the door. Why does this keep happening?
Gozran 15, 4700
Father told me today that I would be sent to the Windsong Abbey on my 17th birthday, he didn’t even ask me. I don’t want to be a nun, I love Desna, but that’s not what want. He’s not letting me go out until I do perfect on the verses, catechisms, and scriptures. I’m going to spend the whole summer locked up in this church. I just want to get out of here, be like everyone else.
Calistil 3, 4701
I met a cute older Varisian boy today from Magnimar, he took me on a picnic on a cliff that overlooks the Old Light. He talked to me like was a person, we stayed there for hours. He’s the first boy who’s ever talked to me like this, not staring and all wierd. I might be in love. Is this what love feels like? His name is Delek Viskanta.
Calistil 29, 4701
My love threw rocks at my window and I climbed out tonight. We walked along the beach beneath the Glassworks. We found a little cave that goes back a little ways, I was a little scared at first, but we made love. Delek says that he loves me and we will run away to Magnimar and get married. He says he has family there we can stay with, this is moving so fast, but it feels right. Desna’s listening after all. thank you.
Erastus 21, 4701
Father says he’s going to send me away to the Windsong Abbey, he doesn’t like me hanging around Delek. He says that I must remain “pure”, but I think I’m pregnant, haven’t told anyone, but I’m going to tell Delek at the cave tonight when we sneak off. More later…
How could he?! He told me he loved me, he was leaving me, he told me he was leaving for Magnimar, and that I was nothing to him, just a whore. He told me he didn’t love me, he called me a fool and a stupid girl. He walked away, what am I going to do? I can’t tell my father.
Erastus 22, 4701
Father yelled at me again, he called me a harlot and told me to go pray to Desna. I stayed at the altar for 3 hours and she didn’t answer me. Desna doesn’t care about me, she thinks I’m worthless too, why did he do this to me. Delek, why do still love you? I hate you.
Ruthona 2, 4702
I’m so angry. I don’t know what’s come over me. Everyone’s been SO mean lately, I’ve been having such weird dreams, and they’re terrifying. Father won’t let me go out, he says its because of Chopper, but know he’s ashamed of me. Mother goddess Desna if you’re here, I’m listening, just make the pain go away.
Ruthona 23, 4702
I finally snuck out of church tonight, I just had to get out. It was dark and I saw Mr. Stoot, he had dropped few of his carved birds and they had shattered. I helped him pick them up, he told me that I was still beautiful to him and that I shouldn’t go out at dark, it wasn’t safe. I stayed at the Cave for a few hours, like Delek and I used do.
Abadius 26, 4702
They killed Mr. Stoot. They said he was the Chopper. They said he killed Mrs. Deverin’s fiancé and cut off her arm. I can see his house burning from the top window of the church. Mr. Jervas would never have hurt anyone, how can they do that to him, he was always so nice to me. I keep having these dreams, I don’t feel well at all, I think the baby knows I’m upset.
Abadius 27, 4702
Something is wrong. I’m so sick, something is wrong with the baby. There’s blood, it’s too soon, I’m only 7 months. I saw dad talking to that butcher Hannah, I don’t want to loose my baby. Dad won’t even look at me, what is he doing talking to her! Desna please make the pain go away, save my baby, please. I’ll never do anything bad again.